Life Planning

Recently Jeff and I have had talks about our future and it's come out that we're on different life paths right now. Perhaps for some people that would cause them to break up or change their relationship, but we decided to instead compromise. He's decided to take on one extra year to get his BS in Biology (with an emphasis on genetics) because of the way classes are offered and how he wants to improve his GPA so he can get into a good grad program. Before, I was prepared to wait the 1 year for the BS and two additional years for the MS and at that time we would look at marriage and having kids. But I've realized and since confessed to him that, in light of the extra year for the BS and the fact that he's reconsidering getting a PhD, I can't wait quite that long. He's been telling me to go on with my life and to keep making life plans without him, and I've been trying to reiterate to him that my plans are done and what I want to do in the next phase of my life is to get married and start a family. I know how Mary Sue that sounds, but it's really true for me. I feel emotionally and academically done with school for the time being. I have my BA and two AAs and eventually I do want to get an MA in art history or even an MFA (something I've recently considered), but right now it's not right for me. I'm 26 years old and my acquaintances (outside of college) are all married/with kids and I want that happiness right now. So I can't very well plan events for my life without Jeff when what I want so clearly involves Jeff. So, compromise.

I've helped him realize that - okay - while children while he's in grad school isn't the greatest idea, there is absolutely no reason why we can't be married while he finishes school. Marriage won't disrupt his academic life like kids would. So, we are getting married. It's not official. He did give me a diamond ring late last year that was meant as a promise ring, but even he's admitted that it is also like an engagement ring, we're just not officially engaged just yet.

And so, because I'm being encouraged to continue to plan my life I have decided that there may be no harm in planning out my dream wedding. Technically it's my own plan but it does involve Jeffrey, so that kind of satisfies both ends. I have a few bridal magazines and I'm constantly thinking about plans I would make, such as flowers, the cake, my dress, the bridal party, etc... That way when he does ask me I can hand him my notebook and say, "It's taken care of, sweetie."