Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Grand Theft Date Night

So I made it down to Camarillo after work despite the fact that I felt like I had been drugged and was completely out of it for the entire drive. We picked up takeout (Presto Pasta, yum!) and headed straight home to watch a movie... only "we" couldn't decide on what to watch and magically The Ballad of Gay Tony appeared on the screen. And about an hour after that a party invitation by his new online buddies to bump cars like Tonka toys in Grand Theft Auto 4. Of course I don't want to watch Black Swan, honey! I'd rather listen to teenagers call each other "faggots" while they shoot animated people. So much more fun!


Odds & Ends

I've been working on a rather long blog posting for a few days now. I'm not one to usually get too personal here but there has been something on my mind and in my heart lately and I've found that the only way to get it out is to write about it. I consider it my version of writing something down on a piece of paper and then burning it. Or writing a letter and not mailing it. Just something to get everything out without any consequences. It is rather long so I might just do it in a few posts, breaking it down. But then again, nobody is reading this anyway so I guess it doesn't really matter lol.

I've got a busy few days ahead of me. I'm heading out of town again and I've got a lot of packing to do. Not to mention stocking up my iPod with all the new music I've downloaded recently. I'm heading to work tonight then leaving straight for Camarillo, where I will spend the night at Jeff's. Early tomorrow morning we are packing up the car and heading out to Long Beach to tour the terrific aquarium down there. Then in the afternoon it's off to Riverside where we will be checking in at the Mission Inn (which is really stunning!). Jeff is attending an event in conjunction with UC Riverside for their Bioengineering Graduate program. On Friday he has more than half a day of meet and greets, tours, meals and all kinds of fun stuff with professors and administrators and other graduate students. We're staying the night again and then heading back to Camarillo on Saturday. It should be a lovely trip. Lots of driving, but still lovely. I'm really looking forward to spending some quality time with him, in a beautiful hotel, looking at beautiful scenery and just being lovely together.

But first I should probably get dressed and start packing. I woke up with a headache which makes the day feel like it's screwed already. It's such a cruel joke to wake up with a headache. I really hope the migraine medicine I took kicks in pronto. I do not want to be a Grumpy Gal today!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Hello, Universe

All morning long I feel as if the universe is telling me that it is time to find a new job. I believed I was here to learn some important life lesson, but now it no longer seems as if I have something to learn. In fact, there are times when I am rather nervous about my safety. That is not a great work environment. I will just have to stick it out as long as possible until I find something new.
Sent from my phone. Please excuse any typos.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Something in Common with Twilight

So I’m watching Eclipse (I refuse to refer to it by it’s full title, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse because it’s stupid. And that time doesn’t count) and I’m at the scene where Bella is negotiating her virginity for marriage (I know, I know) and for some reason it reminds me of me. Not in the virginity negotiation, but in the sense that Edward feels he will hurt her if they get in human/vampire style. I recall in the awful fourth book that Bella ends up with bruises all over (and feathers, smh) after they bump uglies on that stupidly named island. Well, I sometimes feel that way about my Jeffy. My boyfriend sometimes reminds me of a young Clark Kent who doesn’t know he’s Superman. He’s incredibly strong and animated and sometimes his limbs just go every which way. One time we were just in an elevator and I was playfully trying to push the button before him and he pushed me away in this completely forceful manner he didn’t know he had. And just the other night I went to kiss his arm and in his surprise he ended up jabbing me in the face with his elbow.
My boyfriend is not an abusive man. Let’s just get that out of the way. The opposite, actually. After his elbow made contact with my face it barely stung and he was so upset thinking of how seriously he could have hurt me, just by a simple accident.
That just makes this whole human/vampire charade all the more laughable. I mean, I know there are people with fetishes and people who like rough sex, but the literary figure of Edward Cullen is described (repeatedly, in fact) as being made of freaking marble. Would you want to make love to a marble statue? Neither would I.
This is a really weird post. I guess it’s time to publish and unpause the compelling saga that is Eclipse.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Saying Goodbye

I hate am not fond of saying goodbye. Especially when it comes to someone so dearly. Perhaps I’m being a bit dramatic.

Nothing tragic has happened. In fact, things are quite well. Jeff came up to stay with me for a few days and it was lovely as usual. It’s just the part where we have to hug and kiss and leave each other that it becomes quite sad. In an ideal setting the only time we would have to bid farewell would be in the morning before one of us leaves for work. Or before running an errand. Not when it will be 3 days before you see them again. Or 3 weeks. I think three weeks is the longest we’ve been separated. Possibly two, but my memory says three.

I’ve done a lot of thinking lately and Jeff has been my soundboard, whether or not he wanted the job. He’s blessed with a calculated ability to remain logical and he knows when to shut up and just listen. I’ve had to borrow his ears more than usual lately, unfortunately. I’ve been going through something of an epiphany lately. In fact, a lot has happened to me, emotionally. He’s been there with me to listen to all of it, to put his hand on mine when I cry, to hug me when I needed it. And each time we have to separate it just gets harder.

Well, sometimes it is easy. Sometimes, when I’m not emotional and more often when it’s me who is doing the leaving and not him, I can remain calm and rational. I know there will be a time coming soon where we will have to be apart for long stretches of time. Sooner rather than later. I try to remind myself that after that period – however long it may be – there will be a moment when our two lives will merge into one coupled life and goodbyes will be in the morning and occasionally thereafter. Not for weeks at a time. I hate the idea that things get worse before they get better. In a perfect world things would be just average and then get better. But we all know how that turns out…

I’ve only just said goodbye to him and I can still smell his scent in the hallway. I can still see him in my mind. Still hear his ridiculous laugh in my ears. Life just seems so devoid of color when he isn’t around.

I know it is only three days away, which is a very short time compared to other long distance relationships, but I just can’t wait to say hello to him again.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Lent So Far: 50% Success!

When I decided to blog every day and stop drinking soda for Lent, if asked I would have guessed that drinking soda would be the habit I fell back into. And yet, I’ve given it up! Blogging, on the other hand, is a much bigger challenge. That requires a discipline far greater than giving up sugary drinks. Wouldn’t you think it would be the other way around?
So, how is life without Coke? Actually, not bad! People seem to be impressed when I tell them what I gave up. And even though I was constantly tired the first few days – and had a shockingly jittery reaction the first time I had a Starbucks since Lent began – my body has adjusted with little issue. It’s easier than when I gave up smoking, which I thought was relatively easy.
I really should make an effort to blog more. I could really use the writing practice. I started a book and I’m only 3 pages in. Ugh. The worst quality trait I have is that I procrastinate; I mostly just pass it off as part of my A.D.D. But I want to make an effort to blog more!
This is my first effort. We shall see.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Friday, March 18, 2011

Love it!

Not on emoty yet and that is some good mileage!
Sent from my phone. Please excuse any typos.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Hello There

It's like he wants me to roll over him.
Sent from my phone. Please excuse any typos.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Just Lovely

My delicious late dinner. Pear, grapes, gouda and penut butter filled pretzels.

This is Astounding

Jeffrey sent me this link which shows aerial shots of Japan before and after the earthquake and tsunami. Check it out here. I understand this isn't relatively high-tech, but I am constantly amazed at what developing technology can show us. The images are startling and fascinating at the same time. You can see where entire beaches and coast lines have just vanished. Entire cities are saturated in water. It's heartbreaking, really. It just seems as if the entire country is being targeted and destroyed. How can they have this much bad luck? Natural disasters have been around since the formation of the planet but they still seem new to us and more devastating the more advanced our own technology becomes. But we rebuild; it's what we always do. Not "we" as in Americans, but "we" as in the collective human race. I just think that with each new horror that dominates the news with each passing day we can keep at least a shred of hope.

Monday, March 14, 2011


Checking to make sure blogging from my phone is working once again.
Sent from my phone. Please excuse any typos.

Waste Not, Want Not

That’s how I feel about Daylight Savings right now. We woke up thinking we had woke up late, then realized we had woken up really late. And we were quite depressed about it. The whole day seems to have rushed by too quickly. I’m not usually this affected by the time change but it’s now nearly 2 in the morning and I have an extraordinarily long day ahead of me and I wish nothing more than to be in bed sleeping, rather than in bed blogging (not that I don’t love blogging!).

I had a wonderful weekend with Jeffrey in Camarillo and now I’m back at home to spend the start of my week putting another few hundred miles on my car. Sure, why not? Get me faster to that 75,000 mile special oil change I can’t afford. I’m now only five thousand miles away. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to need new tires within the next month. Another expense I can’t afford. I really hope I get that new job I applied and interviewed for. It would make life much simpler!

Now, I must try to get to bed. Even if I do have the theme song for Top Gear stuck in my head on loop!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Hello, Camarillo

It's so nice to be back in Camarillo for the weekend. Whenever I'm here visiting I always feel happy and at home. Not like how I feel back home, which is trapped and uninspired. There's actually quite a lot to do here. We're 45 minutes outside of LA and Santa Barbara - smack in the middle. Every time I'm here I always try to take advantage of the places we have here that we don't have at home. Like an In-N-Out, which is literally across the freeway five minutes away. At home I'd have to drive 30 minutes out of town. I also really love Ameci's pizza, which we don't even have at home. I'm really considering ordering a super yummy pizza with extra cheese, meatballs and sundried tomatoes. Yum!

Last night when I arrived, Jeff and I went to the Pesto Pasta drive-through (Italian food in a drive through? Amazing!) and then headed over to my new favorite place, Fresh & Easy, for some mango lemonade. I cannot even describe how much I love Fresh & Easy... and the lemonade is quite amazing.

Today we are planning to head into Granada Hills, where Jeffrey's grandmother is staying in a nursing home while she recovers from her knee surgery. Should be a lovely day!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Tsunami Watch

Well I was looking for something to blog about and I had no idea Mother Nature would deliver a topic so tumultuously. We were watching CNN and The Weather Channel last night before we finally went to bed. However, sleep only lasted a few hours, and we have been back up watching CNN and the Weather Channel, and sometimes Fox. Our local news is covering the local impact much better than CNN is. The tsunami is literally minutes away from reaching us and we're basically waiting with baited breath to see what happens. Of course, it won't be nearly as heartbreaking as what happened in Japan last night. But when an event of this magnitude hits you in your corner of the planet, it definitely makes you pay attention.

Oh Man…

This is going to be hard. No wonder people plan out their blogging in advance. I need a schedule or something. I just thought I could make up a topic on the fly but I’m not creative enough for that right now – lol. Plus, I’ve been caught up watching Third Rock From the Sun on Netflix and Googling pictures of Darren Criss playing with my cat, Snuggles.
Will attempt to schedule interesting blog topics so that I have something to talk about for every day of Reverse-Lent.
Hey, I didn’t drink any soda today!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Reverse Lent

I’m not Catholic. I’m not even a Christian. At best I’m agnostic and most days I would call myself atheist. But regardless of your religious views it seems quite popular to celebrate religious-based holidays in a completely secular manner. Lent should be no exception.
I don’t know the meaning of Lent. I don’t even know how long it lasts (although, a distant memory of a Josh Hartnett movie is telling me that Lent is 40 days long). But I am kind of digging the idea of doing something different for 40 days. At first I thought about giving up soda. But a few hours afterwards I realized I was carrying a soda into work. Lent will have to forgive my brain chemistry (read: A.D.D.) Then I thought that instead of giving something up, which can be rather difficult and causes a tremendous amount of guilt, I decided to try to do something more instead. Sort of like a new year resolution that lasts a fraction of the time. So, what is my reverse Lent?
Blogging! I’ve often felt terrible for letting my blog just sit here collecting cyber dust (even though I know no one is reading this right now anyway). So my goal for the next 40 days of Lent is to blog every single day. I realize going into it that this could prove rather difficult, so I’ve already promised myself that I won’t beat myself up if I fail one day. After all, I’m not Catholic.
I think I might still give up sodas though. I’ve discovered this amazing raspberry lemonade that I’m quite fond of….. but I’ll save that for tomorrow’s daily blog.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

It is Really Cold Right Now

As I type this I feel as if my fingers may freeze off. I love cold more than I love heat, but I do not love it when I feel as though my fingers are frostbitten. It isn’t even that cold.. in fact, it’s only 54 degrees outside. But inside my apartment is another story entirely. I have a working heater in my bedroom but the bed is blocking it, and my room is simply not big enough for me to reconfigure the bed in any other position. Therefore, I must freeze.

Oh, and apparently blogging from my phone has not been working lately. I just switched from T-Mobile to Virgin Mobile (savings: $50/monthly) and have a new phone running off of Android 2.2. Perhaps I have the blog settings configured incorrectly? And also, apparently my phone is considered something of an “entry level” Android phone. But it’s so amazing and does everything and more that I can’t help but wonder what an advanced Android phone looks like. I imagine that thing could control the Discovery shuttle up at the International Space Station!

(Puts hands under armpits for warmth).

Perhaps I should invest in a portable heater?