Have you ever had your mouth washed out with soap? Well I have. And apparently it didn’t work.
Case in point: last week at our monthly staff meeting I was talking about something unimportant and I meant to say, “I don’t want to be a schmuck.” Well, schmuck is not what came out of my mouth. In fact, I actually said, quite by accident, “I don’t want to be a douchebag.”
There was a lot of laughing and blushing. Apparently the thought of me uttering an occasional bad word is seen as shocking. Okay, that word is a bit more colorful than “bad”. I didn’t intend to use that word; it just came out.
Then today at work while on the phone with a co-worker, I was expressing my frustration with the copy/fax machine when I let out a few expletives. She seemed to think it was funny and I was tired of having to excuse myself for my French. So, I decided to just fuck it all and went on a full cursing tirade against the damn machine. Co-worker laughed more than I thought was possible for her and then said she should get off the phone before her ear burns off.
Honestly, what is it about me that people find it so shocking when I cuss?
(This would be the moment when Jeffrey would make a joke about Orbitz gum in that wonderful fake British accent. Dirty mouth? Clean it up!)